Adopting a Teenager

Having been familiar with the foster care system for a while, it’s quite sad to realize that the younger children are the more likely kids to be adopted while the older kids and teenagers stay in the system for a period of time. Without a proper support system, and a loving family to help guide them through life, teenage foster kids sometimes will develop behavior problems or psychological and mental issues.

Some children who make it all the way to their teenage years without being adopted have not had the opportunity to learn many social skills and how to be apart of a family atmosphere appropriately. Many children raised in foster care have certainly not learned common family rules and the responsible and acceptable way to behave in a family. It should be expected for it to take some time for a new member of a family to learn the proper way to act in accordance with family values and actions, and they got to learn how to “fit in.”

After reading this story, I started to think up some advice on why children need to feel like a member of an adopted family, and how to progress this relationship

If you have other children in your family as you are deciding to bring in an adopted child, it is a very common that a child may not feel truly a member of the family for awhile. If they had spent much time in a foster home, they have not had much sense on what a family is and how to recognize when they have been accepted as “part of the pack” in a sense.

sad momParents need to remember that every day with their adopted children is an opportunity to grow your relationship and give them the sense and ability to recognize that they are part of our family. It may be hard for a child to accept the adopted parents as truly their guardians in life. They may have had the sense that they have had to fend for themselves in this world it may be uncomfortable having someone who they have not known for their entire to lives to step into that role and take over.


teenager feelingsAn adopted child may believe that the family who adopted them does not know what they have been through. While trying to show a child that they are accepted into the family. Having grown up having to learn how to live life on their own without someone being able to teach them the things that normal children have growing up. It obviously is not easy to have these feelings, and it takes time for the family to get to know their child and have their child get to know them. When people truly know each other and what kind of past one another has led, it becomes much easier to accept who the other party is.
Adopted children have led very different lives than other children, and in their teenage years, they definitely recognize it. They, along with tons of humans during their teenage years feel ultimately they only they can truly understand the feelings that they are going through. When a parent tells a child that they know how they are feeling, the natural reaction is for anyone to think that they don’t. None of us at all have lived the same type of lives or had the same kind of emotional feelings as one another. In any kind of relationship, we have a tendency to try to believe that we all think the same way, but being able to recognize how we are all different can be great too. And being able to fully accept one another is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship, whether it be between adopted families, friends, and casual acquaintances. Accepting one another for who we all are is a major key for life happiness.

teenage family