Being adopted is tough. I’m going to take a wild guess and say you have no idea what its like. Imagine having a twin brother or sister adopted by another family. I can’t put into words what it would be like having an identical brother and sister adopted by a completely different family. The mental strain on anyone adopted is truly unfathomable. There are a lot of limitations that come with being adopted, but when you lose your blood sibling to another family it must really hurt. The pain is too much for some people to handle. Not everyone can handle being adopted or taking on new parents in life. Coming from a life of hardships and set backs can really pull a person down hard.
When I was growing up, I knew a pair of adopted twins that ended up splitting up into different families. I wouldn’t have known that the pair of twins I knew, were going to turn out the way they did. I will go into detail about each one in a minute. Never would I think one would overdose on drugs and the other build a successful plumbing company. It just goes to show how life will throw twists and turns at you out of no where.
It’s troubling to personally know a pair of twins that have gone through a lot in life. It makes me feel sad looking back on all the times my friend couldn’t spend holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas with his brother. The two twins I knew growing up were, Simon and Nick. I was friends with Nick, but also spent some time with Simon early on. Both the boys were great. I never got into any arguments or fights with either one. To be completely honest, both Simon and Nick were the two coolest friends I ever had growing up. The thing I remember most vividly about the twin brothers was their complete obsession with the Los Angeles Dodgers. I’ve never been much of a baseball person, but these guys certainly made me believe baseball was the sport to watch.
When both the boys reached the age of twelve each were adopted by two separate families. The saddest part of witnessing the boys separate, was seeing Nick move to Arkansas and Simon move to New York. Both boys were completely separated from each other, and could do very little to see each other. Not everyone can have the ability to handle the ups and downs of a brand new home. Transitioning into a new household is never easy, especially when your brother is on the other side of the country. There was a lot of resistance at first from both brothers. I could only imagine the feelings and emotions they were both going through. It must have been very difficult to get used to a new family, school, friend base, and environment.
If you ever read the book, “Who moved my cheese?” you will know new environments are tough to get used to. No one likes a new place or situation to get accustom to. It’s only human that we naturally fight this tendency. During the whole moving away process I was able to stay in contact with Nick a lot more than Simon. I could tell Nick was damaged from the separation. I felt stressed and sad for the both of them. I remember staying up late at night trying to think of ways I could help each one out, but there was very little I could do. The only resource I had was spending time on the phone with Nick to help calm him down from the stress and anxiety that came along with a new place.
I can only imagine what was going through in both the boy’s mind. There must have been a lot of sadness, stress, pent up anger, anxiety, confusion, and unwanted hardships. Life isn’t always as fair as you want it to be. It is in hard times that truly define individuals. If it wasn’t for constant struggles, obstacles, hardships, and failures there would be very few ways to grow as individuals. Think about all the painful times in your life, and ask yourself, “have I learned from my past failures?” If you haven’t fully learned from your past troubles than changes have to made. In Simon and Nick’s case, Simon ended up being a success. On the other hand, Nick unfortunately overdosed on drugs in college. It truly brings me to tears to think of the childhood memories I had with Nick. To this day, it is hard to think and talk about Nick.
Simon was a success after college. After University, Simon ended up going into the trade industry. In the city he was living in, he found an opportunity to open a thriving plumbing company. When I think of Simon, I don’t envision him being a plumber at all. I look back and wish there was more I could do for Nick. Resorting to drugs seemed to be is escape from the world, it saddens me but it seems like that’s the reality of the situation. Both adopted brothers lost each other, but will never be forgotten.